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The world we live in presently, thrives on negativity. You are either faced with negative news at all times, being put down by negative comments - from people close to you and from afar - or you self-talk negatively as a result of the prevailing circumstance around you, past failures, mistakes and unpleasant experiences.

I use to have a friend - though late now - (God rest her soul) who at any time we communicated always talked about how things were not going on well in her life. No matter how hard I tried to make her see life from a positive perspective it it was all futile until one morning I was told of her demise.

Life happens to us all - It is not and will not always be fair. People won't always be fair to us, people will say negative things about us whether you are good or bad. Things won't always go as planned. Mistakes will occur either of our own doing or from others affecting our emotions and there will always be one or more bad news reported from the media houses and people's postings on social media platforms would make it seem like every other person is doing better than you.

Negativity can come from any angle and from anyone. In most cases, the negativity that hits us most are the negative comments from people especially from those close to us.

But the worst thing that can happen to us is giving room to such negativities either from people or the prevailing circumstance surrounding us. 

Each time we dwell so much on these negativities, what we do is we give negative people or circumstances the power to have influence on our thoughts, behaviours, actions and feelings. 

Letting negative talks from people control every of our being - feelings, thoughts, actions and behaviour - can even lead to us actually self-talking negatively because we believe every negative word said to, about or against us but we can actually get rid of such negative comments and thoughts irrespective of the angle they come from.


1. TIME - Time is an essential factor in our lives. Time wasted can hardly be regained so we need to effectively guide our time. The time given to such negative talks - dwelling on the negative talks, complaining to every Tom, Dick and Harry of what a person did to you or negatively self-talking about how you don't see the possibility of your life turning out great or how you would failing at a thing - is a time that would have been used to do something worthwhile. 

If at the time, you can't find something to do to get rid of such negative talks and thoughts, then listen to positive podcasts or audios, read inspiring, motivating and spirit lifting books or get into a positive conversation - something out of the negativity- to take your mind of the negativity surrounding you.

Never allow negative people, events or thoughts take absolute control of your time else your life would be wasted for an entire day leading to months, years and if care is not taken, your entire life.

2. GOALS - Setting of goals is not just about what you want to achieve for a year that you wait for a certain point in the year to start pursuing your goals but an everyday thing. One way to get rid of negative talks is ensuring you have set goals to achieve every day. Set goals help you stay away from negativity.

Because you know you have something to achieve for the day, you don't let negative people or circumstances get you distracted from pursuing and achieving your set goal for the day. If and when you feel overwhelmed by negative people or circumstances, simply turn to your set goal and see how it preoccupies your mind and takes it off every form of negativity.

3. ATTITUDE - Your attitude is everything on how you react or respond to negative comments or situations. It can be tempting to react apprehensively to negative events or change your outlook in life negatively when we are surrounded by negative people who see nothing positive in anything. Their pessimistic outlooks and gloomy attitude can affect our feelings if we are not in control of our emotions.

But we don't need to let anything or anyone negative affect our attitude. We have the power to turn every negative feeling to a positive one and one healthy way to achieve this is developing  positive mantras to counter negative events, thoughts or feelings. 

For instance, when others are busy complaining of the harsh economy making it look scary to overcome, you can simply turn to the verse in the Bible that says "When men are cast down, then thou shalt say, there is lifting up; and he shall save the humble."- Job 22:29 (KJV)

When it seems like you won't be able to achieve a set goal or surmount a challenge, you simply say to yourself "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. These and many more are such mantras you develop for yourself to counter negative talks, feelings and events.

4. POSITIVE CIRCLE - It is commonly said "Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are." The circle of friends we keep or the people we surround ourselves with have a way of imparting our lives positively or negatively. 

Learn to choose your friends wisely and surround yourself with positive minded people. Never think for once that you can handle negative people around you. They will handle you when you least expect. No wonder the Bible says "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners." 1st Corinthians 15:33

Positive minded people or friends will always help to lift your spirit when you are emotionally down. They can always help you see the bright side of life when things seem gloomy for you. When negative circumstances or people rub off on you, positive people can brighten your spirit.

5. BE THE LIGHT - Above all, be the light that shines so bright overcoming every negative situation, circumstance or people. You can be the light in any negative situation that overshadows the darkness that overwhelms the people around you. 

The Bible says in Matthew 5:16 "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." 

I was once reading a book which advised you can always turn a negative conversation to a positive one and while in a taxi one day, every other passenger was talking about the bad economy, governance and how a presidential candidate can revive the economy and bring the country back from its lost glory.

To these passengers, it was an impossible task to do and I simply contributed saying it might seem difficult but not impossible to do if only we can pray for him and support his goals towards such realisation and immediately, the atmosphere and the conversation changed from the negative to positive.

You have the power to decide never to let negative feelings or circumstances take control of your entire being. Your best self only emerges when you learn to always have a positive outlook in life and not dwelling on the negative. 

Quote for the day - "The less you respond to negative people (and negative circumstances), the more powerful you become."

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