Looking For Anything Specific?


Have you ever felt out of place with certain people, places or events and so unsure of how to deal with the feelings of not fitting in? This happens to so many people and to me as well. I am most times a loner. I love being all by myself most of the time.

While fitting in can come off easy for some people, it is not the case for others. People have varying reasons for not fitting in. Some people most of the time, want to be alone, some try not to fit in for fear of rejection, others don't due to low self esteem or high self esteem.

No doubt, as social human beings, we all need connections to thrive and function effectively in society but unfortunately, so many people try so hard to fit that they begin to mask their true identity, traits and opinions just to be accepted and fit in.

Not fitting in has a lot to do with how we view ourselves and how we think others view us. When you view yourself in a positive light, you will see yourself relating well with people without fitting in but when the reverse is the case, you will always need people to validate you or affirm your self-worth before you think or feel positive about yourself giving people the power to ascertain whether you fit in or not. There will always be the need to want to impress, prove your self-worth and try all you can to be noticed just to fit in.

You don't have to fit in anywhere before you realize you are unique, full of potentials to live your best life, affecting lives positively as well.

I relate more with gospel artists and have very few friends (not up to five) as motivational speakers or in same line yet, I don't see myself fitting in into the music world even though I love music a lot. I am uniquely me doing my own thing fitting in in my space as it ought to be while relating well with my gospel artist friends.

Not fitting in brings out the best in you. It makes you realize who you truly are, unleashes your potentials and helps identify your purpose in life. It makes you different, sets you apart and enables you to do your own thing without the approval of others. It helps you embrace and celebrate your individuality.


EMBRACE AND ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE : We are all different and unique in our own different ways. We have all been gifted with different potentials to function effectively in society. Our individuality is what sets us apart from others. What makes the world go round beautifully well it's because we have people living out their individuality making significant contributions to the society and the world at large. Imagine if we all try to fit in and do same thing, the world would definitely be a dull place. Do not be afraid to express yourself - potentials, abilities, skills, gifts, and capabilities - irrespective of how people view you, whether they accept you into their circle or not. People who made the biggest impacts are those who dare to stand out.

GROW YOURSELF CONFIDENCE : One major way to grow yourself confidence is going all out and being you irrespective of people's perception of you. Believe in yourself and trust in your abilities and capabilities. Discover who you are by identifying your purpose and going all out to live the reason for your existence contributing your own quoter to society and mankind. Once you grow your confidence, you won't need to seek people's attention but they will rather notice you.

NURTURE YOUR SKILLS, GIFTS AND TALENTS : By the time you start cultivating and nurturing your gifts, talents or skills, trust me, you won't have the time to want to fit in because you are so busy building and growing you, relating with people in similar area, expertise or craft. This will also in effect boost your self confidence. 

VALUE AND PRIORITIZE YOUR ALONE TIME : Don't be scared spending some time alone or being in solitude. Spending time alone, gives you the opportunity to understand yourself better, be more creative and gives you a mental, physical and emotional well-being.

It is very possible to have positive connections and interact with others without trying to change who you are fitting into people's expectations of you. Connect and interact with people of same interest but still be uniquely you. Be comfortable in your skin relating and hanging out with people without trying to be like them or fit into their space. You can always create your own space and fit in there doing your own thin.

Quote for the day - "Fitting in is a short-term strategy, standing out pays off in the long run." - Seth Godin.

Share Your thoughts !

Post a Comment