Often times, when asked who are you? we become so quick to answer the question with our accomplishments, qualifications, position, title, age and every other achievement.
We answer the question like I am Rhoda Amapakabo, from Okrika, Rivers state. A graduate of sociology, upcoming entrepreneur😃 and a customer service representative.
And yes, I have actually answered the question like this for real but there is a danger in thinking that what we do and who we are are actually same thing.
The things I do or have accomplished do not define who I am. I am who I am not what I do. These are two different things and will always be.
Surprisingly, even the interviewers expect to hear such answers because society has programmed us to think we are what we do or have accomplished in life.
This causes most of us to lose sight or compromise who we really are and in turn, it causes us to push the unacceptable part of our personality into the shadows while masquerading ourselves as half baked version of who we are.
It is often said you are what you do consistently. But I dare to say that this notion is not correct. You succeed at what you do consistently does not mean that is who you are.
The job you do everyday does not define who you are. It is what you do for a living. It is a resource through which God blesses you daily while God remains your ultimate source.
We also sometimes embrace the qualities of our peers, ideals of our parents and are in constant competition with others all in an attempt to fit in and be accepted.
Meanwhile, the authentic you and that unique glimmer in your eyes takes a back seat. Oprah Winfrey once said "Often, we don't even realize who we were meant to be because we are so busy trying to live out someone else's ideas."
The things you do consistently automatically become what you do without thinking because they have become part of your daily routine.
And these things we do today can change tomorrow. Does that mean who we are also changes? Just as the things we did in the past have changed from what we do today.
We've all lived life differently in the past. We have made mistakes, experienced failures, some people were alcoholics, addicts, serial flirts/cheats and so on does that mean we are our past or present?
The mistakes we made, the failures we had or the lifestyle we once lived isn't who we are because as humans, we evolve, we grow, we change and situations change as well.
So, the things we do presently can as well change in the nearest future or in a long run. Therefore, we aren't what we do or what we did in the past.
The simple truth is, you are not what you do else your identity and essential being would have been defined by your past.
You are more than your past success or failures. You are an infinite being full of potentials to make a difference in this life starting with your own.
We in most cases get so caught up in all the hustle and bustle of life or in our accomplishments that we tie who we are to what we do and take so much pride in it than in who we are.
We are so engrossed in being successful and accomplished in what we do that we fail to discover or rediscover who we really are.
Interestingly also, people place their identity or values on what they wear (Cloths, makeups, shoes, jewelries etc) without which there is no meaning to life for them.
Whenever you look at yourself in the mirror beyond your physical achievements, all the make ups or physical scars, do you ever sense that there is more to you than what you see on the outside?
What you do reflects the external part of you while who you are is the internal part of you. Who you are reveals what you are capable of doing. It reveals your actual confidence.
We need to learn to detach who we are from what we do and we can only do this by first Prioritizing ourselves. By doing this, you are actually investing in yourself which gives you a greater capacity to do more.
In order to know who you are, you need to learn who you are by shifting your focus from the external to your inward self. What are your values, your beliefs and character strengths. Seek to rediscover who you are.
You have a mind, a body, a soul, a heart and you are full of emotions. God created you distinctively in His image with unique gifts, talents, qualities and character strengths.
You are either compassionate, generous, forgiving, empathetic, kind, resilient, loving and lovable, a giver or you are opposite of all these.
You are either pessimistic or optimistic, an encourager or discourager. You either impact the lives of people or you don't.
Knowing who you are reveals your unique qualities, capabilities, insights, character strengths and also helps you to improve on you. This is what gives your life a greater sense of meaning.
There are also times when who you really are is actually revealed after you may have gone through some rough times in which you become polished, processed, refined and shaped.
And most times, this is when the truest version of ourselves emerges. We get the greatest clarity and understanding of our own value making us become invincible diamonds.
Hitting rock bottom can also be a blessing in disguise propelling us to new heights and self expressions. This was actually my case which led to the rediscovery of who I actually am.
WAYS TO KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE
1. DIG DEEPER: Dig deeper into who you are. There is so much deeper in you than you actually thought or knew. Get to know what actually makes you unique and different from the others.
Despite the billions/trillions of people on planet earth, no one has your fingerprint. Your values, passion, interests, emotions and compassion are all unique to you.
What's your passion, what excites you and what brings you joy or what do you do easily that others can't do but you down play? These are insights to who you really are and who God has made you to be.
Know your weaknesses and strengths. Our flaws are actually a part of who we are. We are no perfect beings but perfect in our imperfections.
Too many people would rather celebrate their strengths than acknowledge their weaknesses. But the more we ignore our weaknesses, the less we know of ourselves and what we are capable of.
It takes courage to go all out and be you despite your flaws, weaknesses, seeming lack and the unfavorable circumstance you might find yourself in.
In case you find it difficult to know how unique you are, you can always ask at least the five people closest to you on how unique you are because we most times don't see who we are but the people closest to us do.
What makes you different is actually your greatest asset.
2. LEARN WHO YOU ARE : Shift your focus inward. Question your beliefs and seek to rediscover who you are.
Learn you are more than your body. You are more than your present illness or a number on a scale. You are more than your past success or failures.
Know and understand your personality traits which include those biologically inherited but does not limit us to what we can do. It is just a starting point.
What are your positive traits, talents and character strengths? Your traits and talents do not really reveal who you are at your core but your character strength is what makes you feel engaged, make you unique and actually makes you feel like life is worth living.
It is your character strength that propels you to keep going and keep living your dreams, visions, passions or talent even in the face of challenges or difficulties.
According to Martin Seligman, a professor in psychology, your character strengths also known as your signature strengths if used correctly in our daily life can lead to authentic happiness and we would have the feeling that what we do in life matters.
Once you feel your life has meaning and purpose, you take better care of yourself and express yourself better and freely.
These positive emotions go a long way in setting you up for success, better health and longevity. It has been discovered that denying yourself the full expression of you can actually lead to depression.
When we don't utilize and live our full potential, we risk becoming depressed and hopeless. We may be functional but not fulfilled, successful yet not satisfied.
3. BE CLEAR : Getting clear on who you are actually allows you to live life on your own terms. Be clear that you are beautiful not just on the outside but right from the inside irrespective of what people say to you.
Be clear on your dreams, passions and visions and pursue your them outside your what you do or someone else's dreams.
Ask yourself questions like who do I wanna be, where do I wanna be and what contribution can I make to society?
We all have values that the world needs to be a better place but we must first identify our values by knowing who we are and then make meaningful contribution to society
Your character strengths such as your humanity, temperance, resilience and persistence are what makes you unique, feel engaged and actually make you feel like life is worth living.
4. LOVE WHO YOU ARE : Love who you are irrespective of your shortcomings, flaws, failures and mistakes in life.
Accept who you are completely, your flaws and all because your they are a part of who you are
Loving who you are can help you revive your true self. It makes you see the miracle of bouncing back to life each time you fall, fail or get sick.
Never dim but shine your light on your unacceptable self but integrate and heal them. Accept your flaws, celebrate your strength, embrace your uniqueness and know that you are lovable just as you are.
5. LIVE WHO YOU REALLY ARE : Uncover your dreams, passions and share them with the world. You are a voice to be heard, an art to be seen and a song to be sung.
Let out your your ideas to the world and most importantly your presence because you are a gift to the world.
Use your talent and ideas in service to others because we need you and the world is depending on you to be a better place.
Surprisingly, not living who you are does not only affect us but those around us who could easily see us as an inspiration to them and benefit from our unique gifts and talents.
3. BECOME WHO YOU REALLY ARE : Your accomplishments in life do not make you any more valuable than anyone else or makes you more important.
The things we do can reveal us, refine us, deepen us and help bring us close to perfection but do not define who we are.
Sometimes people do not really value themselves and accept who they really are hence the need to find solace in what they do.
You've got to be honest with yourself first before you can be honest with others. What people say about you is not as important as what you say to yourself.
It is in becoming or uncovering who you are from what you are or what you do that you gain insight into your true identity, actual confidence and your path to purpose.
Quote for the day - "You are not what you have done in the past, you are not what you are doing right now and neither will you be what you would do tomorrow. You are simply who you are".
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