SUBMISSION VERSUS RESPONSIBILITY IN RELATIONSHIPS PART 2

In the previous post on Submission Versus Responsibility, we looked at what submission really is, what the relationship between a man and a woman is relating it to the relationship between Christ and the Church as well as women who fail to realize the place of authority and submission in their relationships/homes. You can find all these here .

Today, we would be looking at Responsibility. What is expected of the man, how he carries out his responsibilities as a man or how he fails to do so.

When a man fails in his responsibilities, the woman eventually gets tired and would find it difficult to submit to him and as a result, he looses respect in the eyes of the woman.

It would seem a woman isn't submissive when in actual fact, it is because the man isn't living up to his  responsibilities.

It is not enough for a man to say he is the head of the home, relationship or marriage and then fails to carry out his responsibilities as a man. 

There are lots of men who have failed in this regard. They have failed as men in their relationships. They only want to bear the title "Man of the House" without wanting to do what "Man of the House" actually does.

According to Ephesians 5:23, The man is the head of his wife/home and so being the head of his home or wife, he takes the lead and responsibility in the following areas;

LOVING HIS WIFE : One major responsibility of a man is loving his wife even as Christ loved the church and is ready to die for her (Ephesians 5:25). 

Being ready to die for his wife is not necessarily dying physically but dying to self and placing the needs of his partner above his. It is loving her sacrificially and daily dying to self for her sake.

A man who truly loves himself would definitely love his wife but doing otherwise would indicate he hates himself as he would not have peace of mind nor peace in his home (Ephesians 5:28-29).

A woman easily submits to a man who truly loves her. Embedded in love is submission, joy and peace and a woman can only submit to who she really loves but when that love is not returned, submission becomes impossible.

PROVIDING FOR HIS HOME : Another responsibility of a man is being able to provide the basic needs of his family which are shelter, food and clothing as well as others such as education etc. 

The Bible says a man who is unable to provide for his family is worst than an infidel(1 Timothy 5:8). Not one who is unable to but one who is unwilling to. It is quite different when he is unable to provide from when he is unwilling to.

Being worst than infidel simply connotes a man who is unfaithful, dishonest and wicked else how can a man be unwilling to or deliberately fail to provide for his own family? 

There are men today who run away from this responsibility because the woman earns a living not because they can't but unwilling to taking undue advantage of the woman financially. 

The Bible calls her a help meet and not the head. She is to help or assist the man and not take his place as the head. When a man allows this, then he looses his place and respect as a man in the home and in her life how much more being submissive to him.

If a man leaves this responsibility to his wife or partner completely then he has lost his place not just in his home but in the lives of his loved ones. He would loss the respect he has how much more the submission of his wife. 

A  man might not be financially buoyant enough to completely provide for his home and that's why he has a woman by his side as a help meet but when he deliberately fails to provide for his family especially when he has the means to, how then can his wife be submissive to him?

LEADERSHIP : Biblical submission allows a woman to follow her husband's lead confidently and Ephesians 5:23 makes it clear that a man has the responsibility for leadership in his home or relationship. Its only as a leader, a woman submits to her man not as a tyrant nor a superior.

A man exercising his responsibility as  a leader doesn't give him the right to rob his wife of being that unique creature God created her to be neither does it give him the right to mock or disregard her opinions.

For a man to be found worthy especially of his wife, he must display great leadership skills especially in tackling difficult issues. 

A man is greatly admired and respected by people but more by his wife when he steps forward to handle difficult situations than standing back to wait for someone else to solve it pretending he doesn't know what is happening.

RESPONSIBILITY : After God created Adam, He created Eve so Adam would not be alone and also have a helper fit for him (Genesis 2:18-24) but what happened?

Adam and Eve had just one command and that is not to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge. Eve got tempted by the serpent and ate the fruit. She gives to Adam who in turn also ate of the fruit after which they realize they were naked and hid themselves in the trees.

God asked Adam if he ate of the fruit of knowledge. Now, instead of taking responsibility for his action, the first thing he did was to shift blame saying " the woman you sent me gave it to me and I ate it." (Genesis 3:12).

First off, Adam knew he wasn't suppose to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge yet ate it and refused taking responsibility for his action. 

The thing is, Adam blaming his wife for eating the fruit does not prevent him from being punished. God still punished him for failing to live up to his responsibility. 

Same thing applies to every man who does not live up to his responsibilities. He surely will face the consequence of his actions.

A man or a husband must learn to take responsibility for his actions whether they turn out great or not, positive or negative. Shifting blames for your failures won't prevent the consequences of your action.

To be continued next week..

Quote for the day - 

"A boy gives false promises, a man honors his commitments. 

A boy thinks "Me", a man thinks "Us". 

A boy blames others, a man accepts responsibility. 

A boy lives off others, a man lives for others. 

A boy Relies on himself, a man relies on God."

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