MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK

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MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK

Marriage I so much believe is more of a partnership. Both partners making conscious efforts to make the marriage work.

Beyond the feelings of being in love and the infatuations is the devotion towards each other. 

The consciousness of deciding to stay in love everyday and loving this person deliberately despite the odds and the flaws.

Beyond the need to want to change status to Mr. or Mrs. is knowing what we want and seek in a partner.

Beyond the desire to just want to reproduce and having our kind is the the genuine desire to support each other, build each other, help each other in the actualization and growth of each other's dreams and purpose as well as  desire to grow old old together.

And just as my good friend Wrimmie Onoviran would say, beyond hoping to having a good a great marriage is the readiness to making it work.

These I believe are a guide to having a great and beautiful marriage and are all exemplified in the marriage of Sunny Pee the multiple award wining gospel music producer and the founder of the Global Music Empire with his beautiful wife Kate Pee a renowned and award winning gospel artist as well.

Interviewing these two great personalities gave me more insight to what marriage should be like in the light of God.

Enjoy the interview below

WAS YOUR DREAM AS A CHILD DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU DO NOW?

Kate Pee : Actually, while growing up, I never knew people used music as career. I thought it was normal  for people to just sing for God so that was not really my thing.

In secondary school, when asked what I wanted to become, first thing I recall is to study international relations and also an accounting because my dad was working in a bank.

But as time went on, I realized that music was also part of me. Though, the music thing has always been in us.

When we were still children, each time I go for holidays, my grandma would always gather us and teach us songs, teach us the Bible and we go minister it in church on Sundays as a special number because she loves children and would always want to teach us songs.

I just found myself doing music because even in secondary school, from J.S.S 1 till I graduated, I was in choir, I later became the choir leader, and like that, I just found myself leading in music line. I never really thought I was going to be into it fully until now.

HOW LONG DID YOU AND KATE PEE DATE?

Sunny Pee : Five years

WHO SAID I LOVE YOU FIRST WHEN DATING

Kate Pee : points at Sunny Pee

CAN YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST DATE?

KATE PEE :  (Laughs).. I don't know how to keep dates o. Asks sunny pee

Sunny pee: It was in the studio. 

AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?

Sunny Pee : Ten years

Me : Wow! congrats

WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT SUNNY PEE BEING MARRIED TO HIM?

KATE PEE : Hmm... He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Sunny Pee : Aw

KATE PEE : Like seriously, I am so grateful to God for not making any mistake in marriage when I decided to really settle down with him.

Because that's one of the biggest mistake any one can make especially women. If you marry the wrong person, your dreams end up being shattered. You will never find fulfillment. 

You will endure the marriage instead of enjoying the marriage. But when you marry the right person, your friend, someone who understands you just like the church will say your missing rib, you would be so happy no matter the condition of your marriage. 

You will just find yourself being happy. Even if there is no food, there is no money so long as you married the right person, you will just see yourself  flowing and that is what is happening to me.

I'm so grateful to God that I did not make mistake. He is the best man I've ever seen. Hard working, caring, loving, corrects when necessary. He is just perfect for me. I give God all the glory for that.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION LIKE WHEN YOU MET HIM BECAUSE THERE THIS PARTICULAR PICTURE HE POSTED AND HE WAS LIKE WETIN YOU SEE FOR MY BODY WEY YOU GREE MARRY ME SELF?

KATE PEE : Actually, the first time I saw him was in a church  playing passionately with joy and I was like wow, who is this person playing?

I have seen keyboardists play well but his own was exceptional because he was playing happy and dancing to it.

It was the excitement I saw and I was like who is this? I actually always appreciate instrumentalists who play well or those who sing well and I actually saw someone who loves God.

After then, we became friends and were just friends. I never thought of anything but just appreciated his person.

Until he came and when he came, I saw someone who knew what he wanted. I saw someone who was hardworking. Even though the finances were not there, it wasn't looking like it but I was like okay, this is the kind of person I want.

He was this kind of person that a little push and a little encouragement would make this person great. I knew he was going somewhere because he knew what he wanted, its just that then money wasn't there but really that was what I saw.

But then, it wasn't as if I did not have people who were rich and coming to me but that wasn't just what I wanted. I always wanted someone we could grow together. 

And because I knew what I wanted also and saw it in him, I knew with a little push and encouragement, we could go into the future together. And above all, he loves God.

THERE WAS THIS PARTICULAR SCREENSHOT HE POSTED ONLINE WHILE TRYING TO HUSTLE. AFTER INQURING WHERE HE WAS, YOU ASKED HIM TO COME MANAGE INDOMIE AND EGG AND THAT IS ONE MAJOR SCREENSHOT THAT INSPIRES PEOPLE ESPECIALLY SINGLE LADIES WHERE IT TEACHES PATIENCE AND BELIEVING IN SOMEONE. 

THE PICTURE DEPICTS SCARCITY AT THAT TIME BUT YOU WERE THERE. HOW WAS THE EXPERIENCE LIKE IN THE TIME OF SCARCITY?

(Laughs)

Sunny Pee : It's not of him that willeth or of him that runneth but of God that showeth mercy

Kate Pee :  My sister... It wasn't easy. That was why I said, if you marry your friend, someone you love even in all that, you would still find yourself happy.

If he wasn't my husband. If God had not said this is my husband, I believe and I know that at that point, I would have ended the whole thing because it wasn't funny.

I think then, I had even gone to my father's house and I was pregnant then. We also had issues of house rent and then we got a place in kubwa there.I then told him, instead of repaying the landlord let's start something.

But he was like, how will you cope, and I said I will go to my father's house. Thank God I was pregnant then so it would seem like it was because of the pregnancy I came home and my mum was a nurse too.

He was like are you sure? I said yes. At that point, I was only worried about him because I did not know where he was going to stay and knowing him then very well, he wouldn't want to come stay with me at my parents place.

So, I went there but he was everywhere. Today he would sleep in the studio, tomorrow he would sleep in his elder brother's house, next tomorrow he would sleep at his friend's place like that.

Sometimes, I would persuade him to come over to sleep. So on this particular day, there was nothing. He didn't even want to go to those people's places and he didn't even have any money and nothing at home. Where was the home self?

Then I was like come home, come home. I had at-least indomie and egg that we could manage because then, you know in my family house not like my parents won't cook what he wants but he didn't want that so I did not want him to feel bad like telling them that my husband is coming home.

Ant then, me I did not even have any money because I wasn't working at the time and indomie was the simplest thing we had at that time that I can easily cook so I asked him to come manage the indomie.

I also wanted to see how he was doing at the time knowing he did not have anything that's why I encouraged him to come over and eat.

It wasn't funny but by the grace of God we pulled through and passed through that phase with Joy, happiness and love.

We never allowed the scarcity of money to come in between us because in the first place, it wasn't money that brought us together.

You see, some people have problems with their marriage or relationship because the money or something that was the focus more there then you see them having issues.

HOW SUPPORTIVE ARE YOU OF KATE PEE'S MUSIC CAREER?

SUNNY PEE :  I'm her number one fan. I am her fan and by the grace of God, I've been able to do the little I can.

Even before we got married, not because we are married. I had even done two albums for her even before we got married. I have always supported her because she has always supported me too.

HAVE  YOU BOTH EVER DONE A COLLABORATION?

SUNNY PEE : Yes "Victory at last".

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST MUSICAL EQUIPMENT FOR GLOBAL MUSIC EMPIRE?

SUNNY PEE : Behringer B2 Micro phone was the first equipment I bought with my money.

WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE MUSICAL INSTRUMENT?

SUNNY PEE : KEYBOARD

Kate PEE: BASE GUITAR

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY IT

KATE PEE : (Laughs) No

Sunny Pee : Does she even know how to handle it?

BUT YOU LOVE IT

Kate Pee : Yes . I even started learning it but did not see who would continue to teach me.

SEEING THAT YOU ARE BOTH PURPOSE DRIVEN AND DO TRAVEL SOMETIMES, HOW DO YOU HANDLE THE FAMILY AND THE KIDS?

KATE PEE : I really want to thank God for blessing me with someone who treats the kids like her own.

Of recent, we traveled to Lagos together and she took care of them well. Mary is a blessing to us. God just gave her to me.

Sometimes, when I travel alone, he (Sunny Pee), manages his schedules and is always there to take care of them.

DESCRIBE YOURSELF WITH A FRUIT AND WHY THAT FRUIT?

SUNNY PEE : (Laughs and speaks in tongue) okay, I would say orange. Reason being that, sometimes I can be sweet and other times sour.

I'm not a hundred percent perfect person. So, there are days I'm sweet and days I'm sour. It is only Mrs. Pee that feels the heat.

Those days I'm sour are days I have so many things in my head and my head would be banging because there is so much work to do and bills to pay.

Once I'm in that realm trying to fix everything, I get sour. little things get to me and they make me snap.  But on a good day, the orange is sweet.

HOW DO YOU COPE WITH THOSE SOUR MOMENTS?

KATE PEE : God has given me grace to understand and know how to relate with him. So, when he is in that mood, I know how to approach him, I know how to lift him.

One has to be observant to know when  to approach your husband. When he is stressed you know and know the things to say or do around him.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR MARRIAGE?

KATE PEE : Hmm I will describe my marriage as the best marriage ever. It is a dream come through.

It's been peaceful. It is the kind of marriage that we understand ourselves. God really answered my prayers because this marriage is working to the glory of God.

Me : Amen and will continue to work.

HOW DO YOU RESOLVE ISSUES SUPPOSING YOU HAVE DISAGREEMENT?

KATE PEE :  Okay.. we resolve issues by sometimes talking about it and other times we apologize and move on.

There other times we don't even talk about it. We just let it go because it's not everything that needs to be talked about and the ones that really need talking we do. We don't dwell on issues.

HAVE THERE BEEN A THING YOU NEVER LIKED ABOUT HIM?

KATE PEE :  Yes. He use to be very hot tempered.

HOW DID YOU COPE WITH IT?

KATE PEE :  God has done a quick one to that. I knew he had a hot temper and I went into it so it was my cross to carry.

Each time I go to pray about it, God will be like but you knew. So be patient. I am working on him and to the Glory of God, He worked on it.

One of the first things God did was making him realize it himself and he started praying about it. The first deliverance is realizing something and working on it. And to the glory of God, he is one sweet person I have ever met.

HOW HAS HE INFLUENCED YOUR MUSICAL CAREER ?

KATE PEE : He has been very really supportive. For instance, he made me to start singing in the studio.

I like doing live music. Singing in the studio for me is like being caged. I like expressing myself when singing but he changed that in me. And being the best producer in the world, he has added to my CV (Laughs).

WHAT'S YOUR ADVICE TO SINGLE LADIES IN TERMS OF MARRIAGE AND TO UPCOMING YOUNG MUSICAL ARTISTS?

KATE PEE : My advice to single ladies is just be yourself. Know what you want and stick to it. then, secondly don't be carried away by all that is happening in the world now focusing on wealth or money.

Find someone you love, build together and grow up together. Don't focus on an already man 

To me, if you marry an already made man, I don't think it would work for me. I would feel uncomfortable unlike someone we built together. you find fulfillment in it.

So don't be carried away by material things but look at those qualities that will last into the future and not those things that are temporal.

Thirdly, don't get married because your friend is married. Take your time and make sure you don't make that mistake. Marry your friend.

Also, marry someone who loves God. You will find peace in your home when you marry someone who loves God.

And if you say you are looking for a perfect partner, you too, work on yourself to be the perfect woman. When you work on yourself to be the perfect woman, the perfect man will come.

For the young upcoming musical artists, allow the Holy Spirit lead you. Don't let money be the reason why you want to sing and blow.

Let Jesus be your number one priority. Let your focus be preaching the word of God and glorifying God.

For me that is it. Till today, I go to programs, in fact for the past two months now, all the programs I have been to, nobody has given me a dime. I was like God, are you testing me? But I still see myself going and I enjoy it with all pleasure.

I am so excited doing it because I am doing it to the glory of God and not for me. Even when I'm told to charge, I don't really know how to do it. I am not saying you shouldn't charge but don't let money be the focus. Let Jesus be at the center of it all.

There was a day I was saying to myself that I don't need any man to promote me but let Jesus be the one to promote me and approve of me. 

Let it not be that I'm doing all these with men applauding and giving me all the accolades yet Jesus does not recognize what I am doing.

The Bible says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and every other thing will be added to you." (Mathew 6:33).

So if you seek Him first and do what he asks you to do, every other thing such as the money, the fame etc will come to you.

And is not everybody that is going to be that star like the people you see up there. You can be a star in your own area. 

Just appreciate God for the one He has given you. Don't go and kill yourself over being that big star because, before you know it, jealousy will come in and you will start competing. So be focused.

WHATS YOUR ADVISE TO SINGLE GUYS?

Sunny Pee : Ha! single brothers..When it's time to get married, don't go and be following slay mamas (Laughs).

That's the truth o. If you follow beauty or marry because a lady is beautiful, after six months in your house, the beauty will disappear when reality dawns on you.

I have seen young guys who say "na fine woman I wan marry" Yes its good to marry a beautiful woman but beyond the beauty, it should be somebody you can tolerate.

Marriage is 20% love and 80% tolerance. In fact immediately you get married and start becoming naked together, love can disappear.

Your ability to tolerate each other and your ability to see each other's weakness and help them to over come it is what makes a good marriage and keeps the marriage . Leave all the slay queens o if not they will slay your destiny. 

There was a time me and my wife broke up while dating and I dated one lady that almost killed my destiny.

She collected #70,000 from me to go buy one shirt and one trouser for #70,000. This is something that if I give to Kate Pee,  she would use it to feed us for three months.

It was a lesson and that is why we can easily advice now. Marry a woman who can manage your millions and can also manage your thousands. Very important.


Quote for the day - "The first deliverance is realizing something and working on it." Kate Pee

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