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As a man, what comes to your mind when you ask a woman "what can you bring to the table?
As woman, what comes to your mind when a man asks " what can you bring to the table? 

This question has caused lots of arguments online and even physically. Once some women hears this question they become all offensive and defensive without taking a second thought and looking inward. 

To these women, the man is referring to their financial status. Some men are not exempted either on such thoughts. Some men actually ask this question referring to the financial status of the woman. 

For some, the only thing a woman brings to the table is sex forgetting there are so many things a woman can bring to the table even when she is not financially buoyant or does not contribute to the home/relationship financially and to some women, they feel all they can bring to the table is procreation. 

A perfect example is a full time housewife.  Some housewives believe all they can bring to the table is kids while some know exactly what they can bring to the table aside procreation or finances. 

As a man or woman, ever asked yourself what some full time housewives bring to the table that their homes are still very homely, lovely and still get love and respect from their husbands? 

Only a man who does not know a woman's worth will ask her what she is bringing to the table and only a woman who does not know her worth will become all defensive when asked such a question.

Be it in dating or marriage, men and women have different things to uniquely bring to the table. God created  us to to uniquely bring different things to the table. He created man to be the head (Ephesians 5:23) and a woman to be an help meet( Genesis 2:18). 

Imagine how boring a relationship or marriage where both partners act same way, do or bring same things to the table. 

These unique qualities or differences are what help to make the relationship grow and exciting.

Some women think all they bring to the table is the complete package (beauty, brain and success financially or materially). 

It goes beyond this even if having all these is of great importance. It's good for a woman to be physically beautiful, intelligent and successful materially or financially and its no doubt a man is attracted to a woman with the complete package but other than these, a woman should pause and ask herself what more she can bring to the table that can never fade and makes her of valuable asset to her man.

A real man seeks a real woman who does not just bring her physical beauty, intelligence and material or financial success to the table but bring along the following qualities;

SUPPORT : When the Bible says a woman is to be an help meet to her husband, it means she is to assist him in every way possible financially and otherwise. 

A woman who is stable or independent financially should be able to take up one financial roles and be faithful in doing it or assist in other financial roles to ease the burden on her husband. 

For a woman who is not so financially buoyant, she can assist her man financially by judiciously managing every penny given to her. If this is effectively done, she could save up so money and and even multiply the money. 

That being said, a woman whether financially buoyant or not, is not to take on this role completely except where the man is genuinely unable to carry out his financial role for a period of time. 

She is only to assist him. "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." ( 1st Timothy 5:8).

LOYALTY : A woman's loyalty lies with her husband irrespective of where or the circumstance she finds herself or what people say. She remains faithful to her man irrespective of the season they are in.

LOVE : How strong is your love for your man? Does your love still stand strong in the midst of challenges and misunderstandings? Love is more than words. It reflects even in our actions towards our partners. In plenty, the love stands and in scarcity it still stands.

RESPECT : Men love respect more than anything else even more than the love you profess to them. Once a man's ego is trampled on, you may never have him back. 

Respect him in your approach towards him irrespective of the circumstance, respect him not just in his presence but in his absence, respect him in public and respect him before your friends. A man's love comes easily for his woman when she respects him and vice versa. 

"However, each one of you must love  his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. " (Ephesians 5:33).

NURTURING : A woman's maternal instinct always comes in strong in her. She does not just take care of the kids but also takes care of him by feeding him with the right nutrients, she takes care of him when he is heal, takes care of his belongings and keeps his closet clean at all times. 

All these cones in natural to her and she finds joy and fulfilment in doing these.  She gives life and healing to her family, makes her home a safe haven, encourages her husband in his leadership role and be his confidant as  well as gossip mate 😊. 

Her children feel safe and protected under her wings. She is keen n monitors her children's upbringing and speaks life into all that concerns her kids and her husband. 

"Her children rise up and call her blessed and her husband also praises her."(Proverbs 31: 28).

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good , not harm all the days of his life." (Proverbs 31:11-12).

HUMILITY AND SUBMISSION :  A woman is humble enough to set her side her needs and ego in order to let the man have control. 

Though she has her preference and gives her opinion concerning issues but leaves the final decision to him. She knows he makes and takes major decisions. 

She sacrifices and compromises the most just to find a middle ground. When a woman submits and is humble to her husband, the man naturally loves her. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which He is the Saviour. " (Ephesians 5:21-24).

BEAUTY :  A woman does not just bring her physical beauty to the table but brings her inner beauty as well. She radiates her beauty all over the house. She is full of curves that drives the man crazy.  

Beyond that, she has lots of grace, poise, class and fills the home with a touch of her beauty. She keeps the home and its immediate environs clean. 

She feels the home with her warmth and makes it accommodating for everyone.

INTUITION : Women have intuitions in them as a strong quality. They are more in touch with their gut feelings than men do with theirs. 

A woman's intuition help prevent her man from making or taking bad decisions. 

With her intuition, she prevents her man from embarking on dangerous enterprise or adventures. Many women have saved their husbands with their intuitions.

NOBLE CHARACTER :  A woman's noble character adds to her husband's reputation. Her character adds to the influence of her man and due to her character, her husband is respected wherever he finds himself.  Her character will also determine how her husband is  viewed in public. 

When she speaks in public, her words reflect the kind of man in her life and  how she treats him.
"A wife of a noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like a decay in his bones. " (Proverbs 12:4).

"Her husband is respected at the city gate where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." ( Proverbs 31:23).

COMPASSION/EMPATHY : She is full of compassion and empathy for her man. She draws from her strength and experiences to comfort him when ever he is down emotionally, financially, morally and otherwise. She puts herself in his shoes to understand his feelings and comfort him through his trying times. 

She cries when her man cries, she feels sad whenever he is in pains and rejoices with him whenever he is happy. Some men try not show it when they are down and need support, but a woman is sensitive enough to know when her man is down and steps in to support him.

INTELLECT : A woman who is intellectually sound will always see her man come home on time rather than hang out with the guys all the time. He finds in his woman a companion with whom he can discuss anything with. 

She is sound intellectually, economically, politically, morally and otherwise. When a woman is Intellectually sound, she becomes the pride of her husband and as a result he feels proud taking her places, events and to his friends. 

So as a woman, don't just be current in latest gossips, build and develop your life/skills in other spheres of life. Your man should be able to have meaningful conversations with you while you should be able to make meaningful contributions to the discuss as well.

PRAYERS : Above all said and done, the place of prayers can not be overemphasised and until a woman understands this, then she, her relationship or marriage becomes a prey for the devil. 

The institution of marriage is a major target for the devil and he started fighting marriage from the time of its creation. Remember how he deceived Eve in eating the forbidden fruit which she in turn gave to Adam? 

The marriage institution is likened to the relationship between Jesus and Christians and the devil fights this relationship knowing how powerful it is. God instructs "Love your wives, just as Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25). 

The devil is the real enemy and he can use anything or anyone to destroy your marriage or relationship. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12).

As a wife, no one can pray for your husband other than you and as a mother, no one can pray for your children other than you. No matter how spiritual a man is, he faces challenges and temptations every days as he steps out. 

The prayers of his woman go a long way to help him overcome every challenge, trials and temptations faced. So, as a wife, always pray for your husband and as a single lady, always pray for the man in your life or future husband even if you haven't seen him physically yet.

The goal in every relationship should be based on adding value, completion and enhancement in each other's lives. You can't expect what you don't give in a relationship. Your man in the short period of time you both have met, should be able to state a thing or two you have added in his life or helped him grow in one area of life or the other.

Quote for the day - "A woman who knows her worth needs no validation. She knows she brings a lot to the table; Love, compassion, support, prayer, wisdom, ambition, vision, intelligence, value and drive." 
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