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In the society we live in, people's worth are being defined by outward appearances and excessive values have been placed on these outward appearances such as money (how much we earn or have), our kind of occupation and other material possessions - the kind of car we drive, the expensive clothes, shoes or jewelries we put on as well as our physical beauty but these sometimes if not most times, trigger the need to compare oneself with another person either consciously or unconsciously.  These kinds of comparisons can leave one feeling better or worse depending on where you place yourself. Now, the problem with these outward appearances is that they fade away. They don't last neither are they absolute. Statuses change, there will always be someone richer than you are, more talented, more materially successful or more beautiful/handsome than you are. So, trying to compare yourself with others will keep you on a constant moving target in order to keep up the pace with no time to actually improve your being. For instance, a woman who places much value and importance on her outward beauty will soon find out that her physical beauty will fade away soon - drooping boobs and buts, sagging and wrinkled skin etc. Same thing applies to a man with a well built body, tall, handsome, dark and with a six pack. He too will soon find out that with age, all these things fade. His straight posture becomes bent, strong jaws to dropping jaws, well trimmed long hair to bald head, six packs to sagging skin etc. Same thing applies to other outward appearances that we place much value on or use to measure our self worth. There is nothing wrong in building one's physical appearance like making more money, looking attractive etc. It's great to have some accomplishments for ourselves but should not be our measurement for our self worth.


Self worth is simply about who you are and not what you do. It is the core of your being - your feelings, thoughts, behaviors as well as the value you place on yourself and having a sense of value indicates you are worthy. In essence, your self worth is more about your personality. It is how you see yourself (self worth) and how you treat yourself ( the value you place on yourself). An example of your self worth is your belief that you are a good person who deserves good things. So, making comparisons of yourself with others indicates you place much value on others than you do on yourself. It also places you on societal approval and validation and when you do not get validation from people, you  get depressed or sad cause the problem with people's validation is that people change and may never be or say what you want them to say and be all the time. When much value is placed on things like money, material success and outward beauty, then you tend to think or believe that people who have more of these things are to be admired more than those with less of them and this ironically shows the tendency of you actually hating on those people with these outward appearances you compare yourself with.


The first step towards building your self worth is to stop comparing yourself with others and then  identify the qualities within you or those human qualities you value. If you are not sure of your qualities, then make a list of the human qualities you value and such qualities include; honesty, self discipline, integrity, love, forgiveness, hard work, self love, love towards others,  faith, sense of humor, self esteem, gratitude, generosity, empathy, courageous, kindness, joyful, friendliness, patience, tolerance, loyalty, determination, humility, bravery, inspiring, optimism, reliability, supportive, trustworthy, just and being true to oneself. Comparing yourself with others makes you focus on others more and less of yourself and the qualities in you. These qualities in you will never fade away and the more you improve or cultivate them, the higher you go in life. They enable you succeed in everything you do thereby leading you to actual success in life making you have those things you desire in life.

When you compare these qualities in you to the outward appearances you measure your self worth with, you will find which of these actually holds true value, which actually gives you peace of mind and makes you feel worthy of yourself.

Quote for the day - "When you please others in the hopes of being accepted, you lose your self worth in the process". Dave Pelzer
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