As a single, I have been asked once if I've been married or know what marriage is about when I wrote to the singles on how best to live the single life.

I also came across a similar question which  was thrown at a single male friend who posted on his timeline advising married women not take everything that happens in the home outside. These two scenarios inspired this write up and I am addressing it to the singles again.

Dear singles, you do not have to wait until you are married before you learn what marriage is all about. Most singles especially the ladies are more concerned about the wedding day than the marriage itself. They concentrate more on the activities of the wedding day than what comes with marriage. Most singles want to have the best wedding of the day or of the year in order to trend for a long time.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong in having the best wedding of the year or of the day. There is nothing wrong in having a swell time and giving your best for that day. The wedding day is a special day for every single especially the ladies as it is mostly seen as our day. Trust me, on my wedding day I'm also going to give it my best as it is once in a life time thing but do we neglect the tenets of marriage which is a life time thing just to have the best of one day?
Both wedding and marriage require adequate planning. So as you plan for your wedding, also plan for your marriage.

A wedding is an event or a ceremony that takes place in just a day which comes and goes.
Marriage on the other hand is a life time thing involving the coming together of two opposite sex who are adults with the mindset of building a home together and forever. Genesis 2:24.
These two people come together to form a bond physically, sexually, psychologically, emotionally and otherwise believing no force on earth can break this formed bond.

As we dream about having the best wedding let's also dream about having the best marriage on earth enviable to all and that will serve as role models. A every great event is a product of great preparation.
It is commonly said that "when you fail to plan, you plan to fail". It is also popularly said "proper preparation prevents poor performance".
Jotham in the Bible is said to have been great because he prepared his ways before God. 2nd Chronicles 27:6.

Take a look at a scenario where you have to sit for an exam or go for an interview. You bound to come out with flying colours if only you prepare for that exam or interview and the reverse is the case if you fail to prepare, so is marriage.

You get to enjoy a great marriage when you prepare having one. You can pray all you want about having the best husband, wife or marriage but without learning, you are doomed to fail in marriage. You will either end up a divorcee or having to endure the marriage you are suppose to enjoy for the rest of your life.

Some broken homes today is as a result of  lack of preparation for marriage. Some of them were hyped into marriage either through pear pressure, desperation, parental pressure, the fun of the wedding day etc.

The learning  or preparation process for marriage starts actually during your single days/years with you discovering who you are, your passion, likes and dislikes. As you discover who you are, love yourself and be the best you can be. Develop your passion or interest in life and invest in yourself spiritually, financially, emotionally, mentally and otherwise. This will give you a clue of the kind of partner you want in life.

Your first point of contact in studying marriage should be the Bible. The Bible gives you a sound and credible knowledge of what marriage should be.

Get to read articles, books and listen to tapes on marriage written and made by sound well known authors who live exemplary marital life style.

Study the lives of married people around you including your parents. The marriage of your parents is even a first hand information you get about marriage. If their marriage did not work, study the factors that did not make it work so you don't repeat same mistakes and if it worked build on those factors that made their marriage work. Apply same method to marriages around you and those you see as role models.

Your studying for marriage shouldn't just be all about loving your spouse. Also try to learn about what it takes to run a home, how to raise godly children and how to relate with in-laws.

Your dating the opposite sex is also an avenue for you to study. At this point, while you date, you are studying the kind of person he or she is. Don't get carried  away with the moment, with emotions, physical appearance, material possession or the financial capability of the other person. While the above mentioned are good also try to study the other person's response to situations, his/her reasoning level, the kind of things he/she says or does and most of all the spirituality of the other person. With these you will get to know if you want to settle down with him/her.

Most of all, as you prepare, pray to God for divine leading, direction and wisdom in choosing a partner. God never fails when we ask from Him.
Be confident of the fact that you will marry right and have a heaven on earth marriage.
Like I said in my earlier post, do not be intimidated by your pears, exes or one time admirers who are married. Do not rush into what you are not sure of for the sake of being married. Your time will come and it will come beautifully.

Here what God says;

"I know what I am doing, I have it all planned out..plans to take care of you and not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hoped for". Jeremiah 29: 11.

"The vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry". Habakkuk 2:3

Do not be weary while you wait at the end you will forget you waited.

Know this - The difference between a marriage that fails and the one that does not fail is knowledge.

While you wait and prepare for marriage, get busy with your life adding value to your life and the lives of others. Feed and develop your Passion. God makes all things beautiful in His time.

Quote for the day - The real act of marriage takes place in the heart and not in the ballroom, church or synagogue. It's a choice you make not just on your wedding day but over and over again and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your spouse.


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