A SINGLE WITH A DIFFERENCE WAITING FOR MARRIAGE
So many times as a single especially the ladies, when you get to a certain age and not married, it seems like a curse.
Being single isn't a curse my dear ladies and gentle men but gives you an opportunity to experience freedom at its peak. You get the ample opportunity and freedom to decide on so many things about your life. You can decide to travel to any part of the country or the world. You get to pursue other endeavors of your life without restraints. You put in the best into your career and skills without much distractions.
You are still single not because you are cursed or not good enough but because you know what you want and know your worth.
Do not let the age factor, pear or parental pressure make you rush into a marriage that you would want to rush out from.
Marriage is not a bed of roses but comes with it's challenges as well hence your preparation and readiness before you get into it.
Being single presents the best time to find your Passion. Find out what you love doing that gives you joy and inner satisfaction and start doing it. Its the best time to find out the reason for your existence and your purpose in life.
Rather than fret and scared of what the future holds for you maritally, take this time out to develop your skills, gifts and invest in yourself. The future is not so far away. It can be felt.
Former U.S President, Abraham Lincoln, once said "The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time". The future comes each passing day of our lives so let's live life at it's best each day rather than fret about what the future holds for us.
Make investments in your lives not just financially but emotionally, socially and morally.
Financially, make a living for yourself. Don't remain idle but rather find something doing that will fetch you an income to at least take care of your needs. There is nothing like fending for yourself so you don't become a liability to anybody.
To my ladies, don't wait for any man to come take care of your financial needs. Start earning your money the little way you can and manage your finances. Every kobo you earn and spend should be accountable and worth spending. Don't be a spendthrift. Making every kobo count now makes you a better manager in your marital home. Be an asset and not a liability. Even if you end up being a full time house wife, learning how to manage your finances now helps you become a better wife and home manager when married.
You might not be in a white collar job, but your skills makes you an asset.
To my gentle men, work hard, earn some money and as you earn, take on some responsibilities. A guy who is single and hoping to get settled maritally soon should start now by taking on a responsibility from his immediate home. Start now to learn how to take care of the needs of your siblings and parents. If you find this hard to do now trust me you won't be able to take care of your wife and kids. There are husbands today who find it difficult to release money for the upkeep of the home.
There are some young men who are out there looking for a working class lady who would rather spend on them and expect the woman to totally take care of the home.
As a man, let your hands find something doing and be responsible before you think of settling down maritally.
It would interest you to know that before God gave Eve to Adam, He first of all gave Adam work. ( Genesis 2:15-18). So a man ought to work first before thinking of settling down martially.
Emotionally, learn to master the art of emotional intelligence. This helps you to put your emotions into check. You get to realize there are things to react to and things not to react to. Your emotional intelligence helps you express yourself better.
Most wrecked homes today is as a result unchecked emotions. You hear of spouses killing their partners due to anger and the rate of spouses being killed by their partners is becoming alarming. If only we can all learn to control our emotions, the world would be a better place.
Emotional intelligence helps us understand the emotions of others and how to relate with them in the best possible way.
Socially as a single, how you relate and accommodate others goes a long way to show how you would relate with your would be in-laws in the future. Get along with people and don't be a snob. You must not be friends with everyone that comes your way but the application of wisdom helps you relate with everyone nicely and respectfully without being close friends and appearing rude.
You can as well relate with the opposite sex with a sound mind without going into an intimate relationship with every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes your way knowing what you want.
Morally, have sound values and ethics. As a lady, master the art of home making. Learn to be neat and godly. Learn domestic chores. Learn how to cook different delicacies. This is not the time to make eating out a habit but make cooking a habit. Get a cook book if possible and ask questions on how to cook a certain meal. The earlier the better.
Learn to keep your room, wardrobe and environs clean.
Be respectful. It doesn't matter who you are dealing with but deal and talk to every one with respect.
For the single guys, learn how to talk to a lady and learn how to treat a lady right.
If as a man, you are use to talking down a lady using abusive words, learn how to put that in check. If unchecked now, emotional and physical abuse becomes inevitable when married.
As a singles, never make the mistake of thinking and believing your needs and feelings will be fulfilled when you get married. Only God can fulfil your every need in life. Your happiness in life lies in no man or woman but in God and you alone. You can be married and still be lonely and unhappy in marriage. Find your happiness and live a fulfilled life in God.
As a lady, a man must not take you out before you have fun, you can give yourself a treat and have fun.
While you wait and hope to get settled down in marriage someday soon, prepare yourself for it mentally, financially, socially, emotionally and otherwise.
Don't be envious and intimidated by those who are married now. Every one has his/her time. Your time is coming and God has the best for you in store.
For every relationship that did not work out for you, rather than regret and being depressed about it, take it as a training and appreciate God for it as it's all in the past now.
Every failed relationship that did not work out, gives you an idea of what you want in life and presents the opportunity for you to choose wisely. Do not be emotionally blackmailed and cajoled into a relationship. Be mentally, morally, and emotionally prepared.
As a single lady, learn to stay away from married men no matter the seemingly juicy package that comes with it. There is no satisfaction in it. And if you do, remember there is karma and a pay day. And don't try to snatch another woman's husband just because you want to get married.
Don't expect to enjoy your home after destroying another woman's home. Same thing applies to the single men who sleep around with married women.
Every single lady and man should learn to be contented with what he/she has or earns. Lack of contentment is what pushes so many ladies into prostitution and other vices. While men go into robbery for lack of contentment. Some ladies go as far as dating married men just to meet a financial need while some single men have sugar mummies for same reasons. Remember, what so ever a man sows, he reaps.